She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize