Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
