wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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