Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I look better un-naked...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You are the jesus of drinking
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
