Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
