Hey man sorry I got all grabby
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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