Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
