Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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