You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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