I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
