508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
