everyone is single if you try hard enough
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
