The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
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That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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