Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize