We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
