Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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