we should wear snuggies to the strip club
organizing the empties. That sober.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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