But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
