my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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