the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
