I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
