apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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