I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think people are normalizing furries
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
