I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
