please come you make the beer taste better
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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