You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
its liver damage thursday
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
