you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
