I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
