I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
