Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
