U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
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She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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