Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
