So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
