that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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