My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
