I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
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