You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize