i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
