I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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