girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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