Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
