Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
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