i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
