i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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