u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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