there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
