wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
