Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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