We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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