my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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