Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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