Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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