IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My dad is sitting where you rode me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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