Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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