did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
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Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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