You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
