P.S. I can't hear my feet
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
