There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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