At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize