Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize