Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
