You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
