I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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