thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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