I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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