i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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